* dreams ]

Okay, that title just pop out of nowhere. Cause I figure I really need to have 101 million things to occupy myself. And one of the thing should be stopping myself from reading blogs of other people who are happily in love! Wee.

Ok, yesterday went out with Inez and Jia Yu. Had a great time overall. We talked, laugh, eat and count stars. Yes! I fulfil my promise to How Jia Yu okay! Lol. But too bad cause there wasn’t many stars. I figure that we were at the wrong place of Singapore, Inez said it’s just with the wrong people.

But anyway, we dig up each other’s life yesterday night, what has been happening in each other’s personal life. Jia Yu has lots to say as usual, I can’t believe I have things to say too. Inez has a share of experience, and she reminds me so much of myself back then. I change a little after much experience so I can say I am a mix of her and Jia Yu now? Lol. But I agree more on Inez side la though I still agree with Jia Yu that she can take some INITIATIVE.

Cause guys are a weird species.

I don’t know why we are made for each other. Lol.

Okay, enough ramblings, great night spend. We decided on our jogging date and so probably the next time we will meet will be then?

Hmm, I was really tired yesterday and so I slept at 12.15! Yayness. I can sleep early now. I drown myself with lots of  ELS notes before I met them, by the time we finish dinner, I was feeling so sleepy, but manage to stay awake for all the talkings.  So I went home and died on the bed.

I can actually wake up at 7 plus, like the normal school timing, well partly because there was a message too. Hahakz. Other than that, I decided to sleep till 12? Lol.

Okay I’m going to go to the nearest library from now on cause I figure it’s not that difficult to get seats at the neighbourhood library. Then I planned to come home around 5 so that I can go for a jog. I hope that will work. Lol

So two more papers to go, and then we can breathe a little before the whole hectic life comes again.

I was just reading a random blog. And, I am feeling all emo before my test tomorrow. Hahakz. So I am just going to rant on this blog. Hope I don’t attract random readers.

Oh well. What should I rant about? Okay. I suddenly feel lonely all over again. Hahakz. Like, I don’t know. There’s a lot of people around me, but as I was traveling back home just now on the bus, my thoughts spoke of how I have to face EVERYTHING on my own, sooner or later. Like I got to quit thinking that I am just lucky and that only others are miserable. Cause if I get too comfortable over the fact of being lucky, I might end up being miserable too.

Hmm. So yes I’ve been flooding myself with songs and as I was saying, I read a random blog. Of a girl who loves her significant other lots. How she realize that she didn’t really appreciate him but knows very much he is very patient with he nonsensical behavior. Hmm. It set me thinking la. But perhaps she thinks he is the one. And that they probably had enough will and patience for one another. Like they saw that both of them meant a lot to each of them.

So I was just thinking, how come I am not like that? Like I used to see all this, like being appreciative in words, but I don’t know if I really do appreciate the significant other. Oh well, the significant other always insisted that I don’t appreciate him. So in my head goes like ‘I am never appreciative’ though I MAY HAVE TRY.  Hmm. K no hard feelings.

It’s just that I am a kind of person that doesn’t express my love much. Like that day Jiayu was just telling me that deep down inside me is actually a very soft hearted and a caring woman. And she just knew that. She only realised that like after 4 to 5 years of friendship? So now I understand how people cannot understand that complicated fact of me. So I should give them time? But somehow, people insisted of me CHANGING instead of realising that in me.

I hate changes. I have to declare that to everyone who wants to know me. I believe that only I will make the necessary changes in my life at my own will. Although last time I thought that is such a selfish act, but hey, it doesn’t do me any good too of changing into someone that you I don’t recognise.

Oh well. Rant and rant. Ok just let me rant. Hahakz.

And then I thought, how the hell people get to stick to their significant others for like 4,5 even 7 years? Will they get married soon? Hahakz. I can’t even hold onto a year’s relationship.

Or I just end up with the wrong person?

Okay yes I did end up with the wrong person.

I shall declare that it ain’t easy to get over a relationship, despite whoever step into your life, whoever that has always been there, and whoever you are trying to get rid of.  Some people still mourn over a guy who has lived happily ever after.

I am not mourning over a  guy. I am mourning over the things that happen to us. What we did. What we could have done and what could have not happen.

But oh well. It’s the wrong match. So neither of us are at fault. Just got to learn a lesson. Don’t get into a relationship too quickly. Just wait for the right time.

Everything can be so sweet now, but so bitter then.

My Hero – Paramore

Too alarming now to talk it out
Take your pictures down and shake it out
Truth or consequence, say it aloud
Use that evidence, race it around

There goes my hero
Watch him as he goes
There goes my hero
He’s ordinary

Don’t the best of them bleed it out
While the rest of them peter out
Truth or consequence, say it aloud
Use that evidence, race it around

There goes my hero
Watch him as he goes
There goes my hero
He’s ordinary

Kudos my hero leaving all the best
You know my hero, the one that’s on

There goes my hero
Watch him as he goes
There goes my hero
He’s ordinary

There goes my hero
Watch him as he goes
There goes my hero
He’s ordinary

I think Adam Lambert’s “No Boundaries” sounds pretty cool. Hahakz.

I’ve been downloading songs ever since yesterday.

I am sitting down right in front of my lappie, babbling away in this entry.

School starts on tuesday.

The singing probably makes the day gloomy right now.

It was so hot just now.

Lol.

Anyway, didn’t go out to study today.

Best friend and I really have a great deal of telepathy. We have our periods on the same day.

I really think best friend has a great Faith in God.

And I don’t.

Oh well.

Hahakz.

I know this is a lame entry.

But I just feel like typing, but don’t feel like doing it properly.

I want to study

I want to be hardworking as before

I am not ready for projects to come

I ain’t ready to be busy.

I still want to enjoy hanging out and stuff.

I want to do what I like.

Urgh

This is going no where.

Haiz.

Sunset is great. Don’t you think so?

Woman! Hahakz.

And then I browse those photos of you and I.

You’ve change, I’ve changed too.

Should move on.

28th May 2009

This is a super old song by Daniel Bedingfield. I first listened to it when I was in sec 3. If I’m not wrong it was someone’s favourite song. It was those good old days.

But oh well, when I finally listen to it again, it doesn’t really bring much of the impact; I guess I’ve really grown far apart from those times I had back then.

I’m so oh-bored when I got home from the airport. Yes I went studying at airport and I can’t remember the last time I was there. I went with a friend, and that friend of mine told me there is a MACd at Terminal 3. Clever me went up and down the DEPARTURE hall and could not get that MCD. So how? I decided to fly to T2. And then friend messaged ” The McD is at Arrival Hall, right at the end.”

Thanks friend! So I had to fly back to T3. Luckily friend hasn’t arrived yet. So I sat down, gobbled down fries and ice lemon tea and shortly after that, my friend arrived.

And then I sat down with my notes of employment law, and friend sat down with his notes, which then changed to a humonguous textbook of CALCULUS. I was like, what is that man! Hahakz.

Friend got sleepy of calculus 2 hrs later, and I got bored of  LAW.

Hahakz. So we folded hearts and then made our way to T1 to go to the viewing mall, and friend and I crapped and then headed to the bus terminal to catch a bus home.

Happy Day with friend.

Anyway. Sorry friend, I didn’t disclose your name. Hehe. Keep people in suspense.

So, yes I came home, bored. I went to facebook, played games, get bored then go to youtube and search on some songs. Yea. Found out that voice is rusty. Needed some polishing. Hahakz.

I downloaded songs, sync iPod and I really think now I need a 8gb iTouch. Donation anyone?

So bored bored bored. Well tests are next week and not looking forward to the opening of school, all those gruesome projects and submissions will just kill everyone plus need to chiong for exams after that. Oh My God. Help.

No pictures to post, maybe I should post some pics from the DBA 01 Sentosa outing on Monday!

Today is an itchy and empty day.  Contradicting adjectives. Anyway, I went out to study at usual mac. But then, I just couldn’t concentrate. I don’t know why, I was just so occupied by a certain matter. So I decided to pack, and take a stroll down city hall.

1st stop: War Memorial Park

I walked towards that memorial park, that I used to have moments at. Every kind of moment. I sat down on one of the benches. I just sat there and my thoughts flew back to times before.

I stood up then, continued walking.

2nd stop: Esplanade

I walked to the open air stage and decided to sit down. Again, my thoughts just flew to the different different times. I just couldn’t stop thinking about everything.

I don’t know what has got into me, but yes, I just flew back to those moments be it happy or sad.

I sat there for a while, till I finally got back to sanity and decided to continue studying at esplanade library.

And finally, I was productive.

But today was really empty. Emptiness filled with gone memories.

I cannot say that I am not affected by what you asked me yesterday.

But I just want to move on.

Without you

And what’s even worst we don’t even remember why we were fighting