“Impossible, Unattainable
Blue roses exist in fantasy but not in nature. The blue rose symbolizes the unattainable or impossible which won’t make it a good choice to give someone you would like to maintain a relationship with anyway.”
“Can I have a blue rose?”
Was it wrong for me to ask you for one?
Ok, it’s definitely my first time to be there. And I was there with a bunch of people who I often go out with, but never to outdoor places. Hahakz. It’s how funny Andre slipped the plan out of his mouth, that “Is there any toilets at the Botanic Gardens?” Hahakz. Anyway I kinda new that we will be going out for a picnic cause that’s what I wished for my 19th Birthday. Oh well, I actually wish to have a reasonable birthday picnic party, with all my friends of course. But having them to do it for me was really sweet.
And so we arrived, bought some drinks and off to the swan lake. That was when they unwrapped all the food and it was really good. Seriously, I will never be like them to bring home made food for picnic, cause I cannot prepare anything, for heaven’s sake. I think Jia yu prepared the most, love her sandwiches and chicken karage, though it’s not exactly is. They bought sushi for me too! Hahakz. My friends know me all that I love sushi so much. Hahakz. Inez made her patato salad which I didn’t get to taste when they all went to her house the other time and it was really good. I loved the food and the layout and everything else.
Of course, they bought me a cake, a slice of cake and this time round no more butterfly necklaces. They gave me a scrapbook. It’s like so sweet can? Although I did not cry cause sorry people, I cry enough for the wrong people these days. Hehe. It was really sweet though I know it was super last minute work from their handwriting. Lol. Somehow my heart ache a little, knowing that I had the exact same thing with someone else. And I don’t know where it is. Not in my possessions definitely. Oh well, chucked that one side.
All the pictures we took from secondary school till now, oh man, great memories. And I really can say they all love me so dearly. Hahakz. Just feel very loved by them.
Next we decided to walk on and find other spots to sit, somewhere more cooling and that Shing Chun will stop complaining about the weather. So we decided to leave our things lying on the mat, and then started climbing trees. Hahakz. That is the funniest thing ever, cause I was so terrible that I could not even get on the branch myself. Inez was not that bad, at least the guys discovered a way that she could stepped on andre’s leg to get up. Jia yu was the best, she got on the thing herself. Then we started taking pictures. Hahakz. It was hilarious.
We went on another spot, where we decided to take pictures of funny funny things. Like, lions, angels, patato, and many many more. Hahakz. Enjoyable.
We rarely do this kinda things together huh? Usually we just meet to pig out and just talk!
So we didn’t talk much yesterday. Well I know I didn’t. I was sick and tired of my own stories, so I don’t think there’s a point of telling them. What’s more important is I enjoyed their company! Jia yu had a bit of her side to tell about, then the rest is just talking about what we are going to do next when we meet again.
I can’t believe I wrote almost everything down. Usually I will just give a brief descriptions of the event. Hahakz. Means I have less things to think, more time to write.
Ok pictures time. The rest are on facebook of course =)
It’s been quite awhile since I updated this space over here. Been busy all along with so many things in school which comes pretty at once. And can you believe, it’s coming to the end of May already.
I am going through something that I didn’t imagine before a year ago of going through. Though frankly I’ve always thought that I have to go through this stage sooner or later. There is nothing to hide, and nothing to tell. It’s just that I believe that we simply are tired of expectations after expectations. The presence of other problems also doesn’t do us good, so the very determined him and the very weak me has decided to call it a day.
Well, of course it ain’t as simple as calling it day. It’s calling it off. I don’t even know if we ever will be friends or how we will react when we see each other. I am sorry I have to find a reason to dislike you to get over you but deep down, I know that you were not at fault at anything. Neither am I, it’s just that we lost the will to carry on.
I am glad neither of us disagreed to each other’s decision. I bet it is hard for him, though the trend now is to announce an end over the short messages service. Oh well, that’s nothing new for me. It’s better than passing the ring back and walk away and then running after him to take me back. Such an embarrassment.
It’s a phase of life again, to pick up ourselves. No doubt right now everything simply reminds me of you cause we’ve been doing so many things together. All those nonsensical to the very sweet moments which I cherish so much, will still remain in my heart, like how I still remember vividly of my memories of the previous relationship.
We have to learn to adapt to changes, cause changes happened every now and then in our lifes. What if someone you love so dearly, are gone forever? That is more difficult to deal with. I think I will go crazy for like forever? Okay, exagerating me.
I am unstable though, trying my best to be sane so that I don’t trouble the people around me. I know that the world is behind me but still, they won’t be with me all the time to get through this. I have only myself to rely on now when I cry at night or when I cry on trains or wherever I am. I can’t expect to call everyone else to tell them I am in that kind of situtation. Every other person has their life to deal with too. I am sorry to those whom I did that too.
Still through this difficult life, I must thank How Jia Yu, whom I could really share my sorrow, who really understand exactly the things I am going through. Cause apparently she went through the exact same things.
I feel good yesterday spending time with her, I think she was putting up with my funny irritating behavior. Sorry woman, that is just some withdrawal symptoms.
Thanks to classmates that I talked to. I don’t wish to mention names but you know who you are. Glad that these people are here for me too.
I am definitely needing a lot of courage to go through this. Cause I once believed it was a dream come true, which turns into a reality which has ended now.
I just want to be occupied with one million other things right now, so that I can get through this.
And I know I can, no matter how nua or weak I’ve turned into. I should really use this time to pick myself again. To be the person who I used to be.
But to you, I know that I’ve not appreciated your efforts. But frankly, I know what you are going through, it’s just that I wasn’t able to SHOW you that I care and love you dearly. I actually do. Though my body language may show otherwise, but I can explain very well what you are going through, I’ve just not come to a point to live up to your expectations. Oh well, I guess you are tired of waiting.
So many things left unsaid, so many memories to keep, so many hurdles to go through, and there is only one of you who made all these possible.
I’ve always appreciated every single soul that stepped into my life, cause in any way, they’ve shown me what life is at every phase. You certainly show me a lot of things, and nevertheless I am glad that you came, and left.
Thank you Rusydi.
It was indeed a good Mother’s Day today. I stayed at home with my mum and just laze around and get myself fat. Not much of things to do today, just watching tv.
Had a mother’s day celebration yesterday at Malay Village. It feels weird though surrounded by the older generation but it was indeed a day for them. Hahakz. There was this particular touching part that all the daughters and sons started expressing their love and gratefulness to their mum. Oh well, that’s why we celebrate mother’s day.
I surprised my mum by being on the stage, guessing all her favourite stuff together with my cousin who was doing it for his mum too. Hahakz. At least we try to steal the limelight a little to show that we know our mums okay.
It ended with a little celebration for my niece, oh well she is 17 already, so pretty and young. We cut her cake and then wrapped up the whole place.
I went off to meet dearest cause I just want to spend the evening with him. We walked around and then headed to Esplanade cause I feel that it’s been quite some time since I’ve been there. We caught a free performance at the outdoor theartre and then headed home then.
This weekend is good, I think the week ahead onwards would be busy, rushing to deadlines and stuff. Oh well, not really looking forward though.
Happy Mother’s Day!
There wasn’t anything extraordinary about my 19th birthday, just glad that I get to celebrate it with my family and friends. Just like always. The family was great, they brought me to dinner on saturday.
Not to forget the dearest friends and my dearest one who led me to a surprise at starbucks. Just like old times right? Lol. I recalled 3 years back when I was 16, they did something similar, just with a different person.
See, so sweet right? I was awaiting for a surprise from the 3 of them but it turn out that they were helping somebody else. Lol.
And thanks for the endless wishes from everyone via sms, facebook and in school! Love ya people to bits.
It’s been long since I’ve updated. Days been pretty busy. School started and year 3 is no joke man. Hahakz. Project all over the place. And it’s all starting right now. Plus if I want to get my ass into the uni, I need to work my ass off this whole year.
Oh well, some interesting things happen too, I had a great outing with SPSM folks to wild wild wet, gig at kallang the week after. Then school school school. All the way. And I’m falling sick already, haiz. Weak immune system. Oh well.
Spac2go is coming to live again, with the new committee selected. Well, it’s a start all over again, but I am sure we will all make it through yea?
I can’t wait to go poly forum again, though this time I have to offer my service there and it’s in the fasting month again but hey it’s in JB. Lol, I know it’s kinda lame, but at least not as lame as in Costa Sands resorts.
Yeah, and I am turning 19 soon. Last year was overwhelming, that I feel kinda empty this year. So much for a birthday party last year right. But oh well, it’s just being a year older. So cheers!
Okay, I’m missing Andre, Jia yu, Inez and Shing Chun! Please meet up soon people!!
